Another Trap

Another trap that is quite easy to fall into is the "I'll-be-happy-when . . ." trap. This is readily understandable when we take into consideration that from the time we are toddlers we are "programmed" to believe it.

I'm sure everyone is familiar with how this works. It goes like this: I'll be happy – when I grow up; when I finish high school; when I finish college; when I have a good job or a thriving business; when I have that nice car; when I have that big house; when I find the perfect mate; when my children are out of college; when I can retire, and so on. I'm certain that everyone could add something to this list. But take a really close look at this list and you will see the steely jaws and jagged teeth of this trap just waiting to devour you! We are, in effect, wishing our lives away and neglecting to be happy along the way! This is another trap common to our fast-paced society.

The common denominator with every list such as this one is simply – I'll be happy sometime in the future! So, what about right now? We never see infants, which still know how to get in touch with their inherent happiness, telling themselves they need anything other than the moment to be happy in for them to be happy!

I'm not suggesting that we shouldn't have goals. I am suggesting that we shouldn't let our happiness be so tied up with those goals that we forget to enjoy the moments that we have right now. That can be another trap we may fall into that thwarts us of happiness in the present. Often we get so obsessed with the pursuit of our goals and forget to be happy right now! We fall into the trap of telling ourselves we'll be happy when . . . ? This robs us of the capacity to cherish the present moment and it seems as though there is always a reason we can't be happy now and our happiness must be delayed.

This is another trap many, if not most, people fall into. It has an even more troubling side effect – it becomes a habit. Once we have achieved the goal that was supposed to make us happy, we tend to immediately find another goal to strive for that our future happiness is predicated on.

This trap bears a striking resemblance to those poor souls tormented by a less than ideal past. Those that are haunted by demons from their past allow thoughts of the past to interfere with their capacity to be happy in the present. This is another trap that is insidious for many people, too.

Both of these pitfalls result in the same conclusion – our inability to be happy in the here-and-now.

Striving toward a goal is all well-and-good. It gives us a feeling of accomplishment, it helps to bolster our self-esteem, and it gives us a more hopeful and positive outlook on life. However, we need to keep in mind that there is no law that says you can't enjoy the journey. After all – getting there is half the fun! None of us need another trap to fall into that may rob us of our capacity for happiness.

Our ability to enjoy our lives and cherish the opportunity to be moving ever closer to our goals should not be hampered by some far flung future that has yet to arrive. This is another trap that we need to avoid like the plague! Allowing ourselves to enjoy the journey, our friends, our families, and our jobs gives us the desire and the momentum to want to move forward and pursue our goals. It is the fuel that we can rely on to give us the energy to want to move forward.

Embrace the present moment. I don't wish to appear ghoulish, but I've lost friends that were living for a day they never saw arrive – they died young. I certainly hope they chose to find some happiness in their lives while they were still living and had the opportunity to do so.

This is probably the most powerful reason to want to live in the present moment and make the most of it that you possibly can. I've heard people wishing their lives away in order to get to a day when they would be happy! So, what was the alternative – to be miserable until that day arrives?

Although we should all have goals to strive for, we also need to learn to cherish every moment of life. Don't let less than perfect circumstances of the past or the present rob you of the joy you can feel in the present moment. The past is gone and the future never seems to arrive – that's why it's called the future! Live in the present moment and learn to cherish it for whatever reasons you can choose to be grateful for – your health, your friends, or just another day that grants you the opportunity to pursue your dreams and a chance to make your dreams come true and live a happier life.

Center yourself in the present. You may surprise yourself to find that letting go of your past hurts and disappointments and your future goals you're striving for has an incredibly soothing influence on you.

Yesterday is gone and tomorrow has yet to arrive. We have today and, unfortunately for some, this may be all we have. We all run out of tomorrows eventually. This, however, shouldn't be something that makes us fearful and sad, but rather a reason to embrace the moment and cherish it. The old saying that our days are numbered is true. We can, however, follow the advice to live every day as if it were our last. This is how we should approach every day of our lives. Try to squeeze all the sweetness from life that you can by living in the moment.

Another trap we can fall into
is that of anger.

Contact Us!

Home Page